This is going to be one difficult letter to you guys. You Guys that are so inspirational to me. That’s what makes this extremely difficult to find the words.
Me being a guiding light . A man , a person trying to help ease your load in life. Someone I think I was for sometime , someone who Believes!.
I been lying in my bath for about an hour thinking , how the heck am I going to express myself when I feel so emotionless. Such a sunken empty feeling has been with me all week, well only from late Monday night. I’m really not sure if I can touch on this. I’ve been feeling pretty damn scared of opening up on this one.
Although, a friend of mine . My work colleague in fact slightly opened to me on Wednesday morning about his own issues in life. Well I would never of thought it. The most Positive,Smiling person I know. So I told him what I was going through. But it hasn’t dispelled it. I couldn’t even chat to my friend Richie when I was there on Tuesday. I feel a little bit , well was but going to ashamed but that’s not the word I’m looking for. It’s more gutted in myself for feeling this way. Feeling flat as pancake, not being able to rise to the occasion. Find an interest in anything. I’ve certainly shrunk within.
Yes certain situations have triggered these horrible dark shadows that have engulfed me this week. I’m not sure if I can go any further without telling you the whole story. Maybe I need to say it. I’ve certainly been dealing with things WELL lately but when a handful of things come at you all at once , it’s certainly done me over. It’s left me feeling I’m not enough, pretty sunken. ( I’m not too bad now- Thursday) .
It sometimes happens like this doesn’t it ? .Your plain sailing one minute and happy as a sand boy ! . Then some sequence of events knocks you off your path. It’s just a matter of how quick one can Get up again I guess. 😄🌟.
A Sand Boy hey ? whatever one of these is. ? It’s a saying I’ve picked up from somewhere, a bit like “ Honestly!” . Richie pulled me up on this again on Tuesday. Some People have a knack of bringing me back to a lighter side. There is a few of you Thank goodness. 🌟😄🌟😄🌟.
I need that @uck it ! attitude 💪👌.🤣
Maybe I’ll save my words for my important chat next week.
Going Dancing on Tuesday this week was a decision well made. In fact I’ve told myself, no matter how shitty I feel’ I’m going dancing’. I just feel like I don’t want you to see me down . You deserve better than that ! BUT again you surpassed yourselves. You are amazing 🌟😁🌟😁. I’m pleased for me too . I made it . It was a brilliant dance night. The teacher is brilliant too 🌟😁. I’m home on that dance floor 🥰.
The fact I went , was brilliant . The fact I enjoyed myself, was pleasing. The fact my friends are just so Brilliant, is amazing.
Thanks a million my Dear Friends for being there. Enjoying our conversation. Oh , the wonder of human connection takes my breath away. The Wonder that you want to connect with me. Yes my Dear friends I’m feeling a little under parr but things can only get better. 🌟😁. ,Thanks for wanting to read these pages. For expressing your joy, your happiness, your togetherness, your intelligence, your Wit , your laughter 😄, your openness, your everything.
Enjoy whatever your doing ..
💚edited etc .