It was a massive offload of inner thoughts in my last conversation with my professional life coach yesterday. It certainly was a good conversation of getting things off my chest, then of course we got down to the nitty gritty. The substance of the core feelings inside, the understanding of YES who I am .
I’ve reached this epic point once before with Gillian , a few months back . It was a truly remarkable session of understanding and just letting the penny drop. That happy refreshing smile on her face , this means I’ve begun to feel and express who I can be.
What I mean to say is I’ve come to my own conclusion with a little help and I guess if I was to ask my friends what they thought of me , I think they too would say I’m being way too harsh on myself.
In fact it came apparent that there’s a whole lot of self care needed in my inner world. For far too long I’ve been punishing myself with a sergeant major approach of self talk. Not all the time but nearly.. So the challenge is now to create more inner self love , more peace within and in the words of Gillian, ‘ to Chill the ✂️uck out’!! .
So to breathe and slow my ever frantic thoughts that sometimes drive me crazy. Breathe in for two, breathe out for five. Oh my , this is beautiful. Slow everything right down. Smile and think of the beauty in one’s life. The beautiful moments chatting to our friends, moments with ourselves, thinking about SELF SOOTHING. This is my challenge to myself. To sooth away my worries and cherish my inner me. Cherish who I am.
Recently was thinking of taking up the challenge of doing work on myself yet again with a process called “ Shadow work “ . I have started the work , 🌿which I found quite interesting.
Now I’m thinking I’ve done enough self research and awareness for the time being. I’m not saying it’s good to just dump off the edge of a cliff or something. Haha. I think it’s always been there ever since I was trying to figure out what was wrong with me , going back to the early 90’s and I Now wish to learn what’s Right with me. How much love do I have for me , that’s my challenge.🌿
The time is now to refresh, breath in and out slowly, completely take the whip away from myself and begin to love who I am again, relax and truly appreciate the process of life. My life. We , my coach and I , spoke about this in my hour long video chat on Friday. Gillian asked if I thought I’d ever been really happy before. I said no I don’t think so , sure one has moments of happiness but other people have made me happy , i don’t think I’ve ever truly felt a true contentment and love for myself. This is my new vision and time to relax with me, to let go and forget everything that I haven’t got but to honour myself for the rhythm of my life. Whether being open like this helps I don’t know.
I intend not to put any pressure on myself as I’ve done plenty of this in recent months and years. Though I have made massive progress in my self development, personal growth and all. The inner love is my only way forward, to submerge myself in something truly meaningful. This may sound selfish but it’s truly need for my self preservation to lead a peaceful loving life.
I hope you guys if you are reading this find true peace of mind and happiness, I truly do.
Sending you amazing Christmas wishes, warmth and happiness.
Keep smiling,Adrian x
