This is for the positivity knockers in this world!
From time to time I come across the odd knocker of positivity, I find it increasingly difficult to understand or even stomach. I’ve had a whole of my life of living in the shadows of myself, scared to do this or that for the lack of self belief.
Believing in myself has been an almighty struggle and unfortunately it’s taken me my lifetime to understand the workings of my life and all the surrounding people in it. This is especially from my early years and not having parents who were to nurture and support me through my emotional, spiritual, educational prowess of my life. I’m not blaming my parents for anything , as they did the best they could given the circumstances .
They too began their journey together in the harshest of ways, being in uncharted waters having lost lots in their lives, including the loss of her Dad ( my Grandfather) at an early age. Which must of been a huge loss for my Mum and her four sisters. Also losing babies and finally having a daughter who later developed brain damage as an infant.. No laughing matter.
It can be a very harsh life and I’m learning to love and understand myself. I kind of love my own journey now, I didn’t at one time. I use to hate myself, that was a long long long time ago. These days it’s way different as I have the most amazing and lovely friends, this counts so much.
In my early work days, Learning was hard and I learnt it the hard way some of the time, getting massive amounts negativity in my early work places, some people just are bullies and treat you like they are on a higher plane than you. I was a push over in them days. People use to make things up about me or even say I’d said something about someone else, this misuse of human kind I will take to my grave I guess. Someone lying about me and getting me into trouble is a stain on my life. Something that I maybe have to work through, even now after decades. It’s amazing how we as humans are able to close down and shut things out , only for them to only reappear their ugly heads in the future. Just like now.
Those days I was an Emotional novice , but hey I’m here telling my story, because it’s needs to be said that we you and I, do have the love and power of substance inside to reach for the stars if we so wish..
I can’t be the only who has the voice and a mind and is now learning how to use it at the ripe age of nearly 60! for me! . It really riles how because I’m learning to love myself, learning to express with courage and splendour that some people have to have a dig .
Saying oh what croc of crap is he coming out with now. Why is he putting a photo of himself of social media? . Like a good friend said me this year “ , there’s not enough people in this world willing to express how they are feeling in a positive way. Sharing your goodness is surely a good spirited thing to do? . No? . Yes? .
Beggars belief if you ask me. As I chatted to my life coach in my last conversation with her. We chatted about this such conversation and how a person in my realm of close relationships says I’m a weirdo for expressing the way I do. Maybe this person just doesn’t understand who I am, maybe is threatened by my willingness to improve and share goodwill. Me A person who is caring, good willed, appreciative of a healthy life and trying to keep it so, someone, who cares deeply about nature and the world we live in, someone who is trying to put light into this sometimes dark world.
For the people who don’t like me, or what I write or snigger at the things I put on social media. Well don’t follow me, don’t like me, disconnect your life from mine…. Simples. .
In the meantime I’ll still be here trying to improve and JUST BE ME.
TO LOVE AND BELIEVE.
Until next time, keep doing what you do best xxx ,
POSITIVELY ME X.
Edited etc.. 🌿.
