Recently my life has nose dived into something I never really expected to happen. Though I’ve had an underlying issue for bloody years on self doubt, self love and not keeping hold of the true meaning of me. The true meaning of me is to hold love and share it. Share the wonders in natural world. Recently I’ve had a crushing blow of self doubt , in loving me and holding me in a higher regard. Believing in my pure existence and having faith that I can be big inside.
All my past failures in love came crashing down all around me all the same time, although with a little help to explore things a little deeper with the counsellor. I had these feelings before I spoke to her . I explained I felt as though I had a torrent load of failed loves going back to the early age of 6 years old. Much of this loss in love wasn’t my fault and probably all of the loss as a child or young adult was not due to me being a failure. I am not a failure because I try to go beyond and learn,. We are all learning even now in this moment. Every single moment is new and different. It’s how we make the Magic happen that matters.
I believe there is a reason for us all to live our lives in a new lease of life. A reason to BELIEVE. We all have it. I’m just learning to love me again and believe WHOLEHEARTEDLY in me, as you can too. Wholeheartedly put yourself in the mix of uncomfortable situations, it can be very scary but once we harness our inner energy and good ol’ inner beliefs it can only become easier, well with plenty of plugging away and giving ourselves beautiful affirmations 🥰🌟✨.
Something I think has always existed but struggled to live and breathe it , day in day out. Gosh I have many reasons to live a BEAUTIFUL LIFE. After a few hours of looking Deep down on my life journalling and looking at my true purpose here that is built around love, I just need to harness it and play with it. As I explained to Gillian my counsellor, ‘ I said Gosh I’ve been in counselling all my life. We chatted about all the guides , personal growth teachers , the odd counsellor I’ve had and there’s been a GEM or two 💎.🕺. Since the early 90’s searching and trying to find a solution to my heart ache is where it all began. 🌿. I must say journaling has helped so much in recent days.. Getting stuff out of head and onto paper, looking at solutions and working things out , putting a positive slant on things is quite Magical 🌟✨.
My friend Stewart when I discussed my session with Gillian, said “ we ought to be our own counsellors! “. We are to a certain extent but sometimes we need a little direction by someone who is qualified in this field of things. I went on with my discussion with Gillian ~ I remember a young lady called Kim Morris who I saw back in the mid 90’s , in Southport. We use to do a lot of creative visualisation ~ Oow wee I use to love this therapy and relaxation. Yeah I’ve had a blessed life of self loving and learning to be.
I guess it all started with the major set back in a loving relationship with a girl in the early to mid 80’s , though life before this as a child was something I probably wouldn’t wish to repeat , UNLESS of course in a way more loving way!! .
These days I am learning to move on again with a blessing , thoughts that all things happen for a reason. A reason of learning life skills. A huge stepping stone and pivotal moment in my life. This is where my soul search started and I’ve found some of the most loving people to have walked this planet. They are here in my life now. Even people and friends along the way who I’ve had glimpses of can make a mark on your life. Some of the most important ones have stayed. The others are fleeting friendship’s and some good but all in all I do the best I can .. Self care, self respect, self love, self inner compassion and BELIEF is key. . Yes that inner faith and belief is all importance to focus on. What say you? . 😊.
I’m here today to reopen my life , love it and move on with a new conviction. One of new beginnings and inner strength to carry me through. Probably won’t be easy but I’m up for the challenge again. How about you? Until we we meet again,
keep giving to you,
keep being vulnerable 🥰🌟🤜🤛
Love
Adrian . X
edited etc🌿
