Tell it to the Skies 💫 ( edited)

‘Morning to my world. I hope you are finding time to be kind for yourself. I mean really finding time to love and respect who you are. No matter how close you are to your wife, husband, partner, we all need to cherish ourselves too. Believe me without this we can be so off course sometimes,we don’t even realise until it’s too late. Usually we , well I! , when I am down there . I’m not going to say usually because I have fewer of these dark days . On balance my life is 80% creativity, loving and giving, the rest gets lost in something I call the missing.  

🐾All  that stuff when my inner world becomes a place of fear and jittery feelings. Sometimes the feelings can be a little overwhelming and almost life limiting. Why? , well once the negativity, self doubt, lack of self love sets in it takes a massive and magical effort to change things around. It is very doable. It’s just a shame I let myself go that far down this way of thinking.. 🐾

 I never use to think I could be one of those people who suffers from depression but now I’m kind of at peace with labelling it so. Though I feel ashamed sometimes, that so I don’t want people to know I suffer from it. Who would of thought it hey? .

So here comes my wonder of life !. Is there any such thing as depression?? . It sure feels like a low place , but when you put your mind to it. Flip the switch and tell yourself to start creeping out of it, plus give yourself some POSITIVE thoughts and words to repeat. The world becomes a brighter place and why not ? . The light is the best place to live and grow, experience all the gorgeousness’s of what we can achieve.

 

My remarkable moments of this week or two just gone was communicating with my friends. Daring to connect with new people too. Saying hello! I’m Adrian, what’s your name? , especially in Boot Camp!.
🐾Ooow.. I must tell you this. There’s a guy called Chris who I was training  by me in boot camp on Thursday.. We started to chat before our cruel but great session started under the watchful and giggling presence of the coach Tom. 🤣  We chatted about what other stuff we do as well,  I said I couldn’t fit more than two sessions a week at boot camp as I go Linedancing on Tuesdays and just started a six week Pilates class on Wednesdays. This is for you line dancers out there, Chris said he’s always wanted to do LINE DANCING,! I was amazed by this . Normally I get laughed at by other men. Apart from Rafa my mate, who has full appreciation for me and my skills.   🐾

The awesomeness of  sharing conversation with friends male and female in line dancing , oh it is so beautiful. It’s warming to my heart. It lifts one spirits. Hopefully likewise for the other people too. It surely is inspirational and freeing. There’s a lightness in the air when this connection happens. Just chatting about things of interest and getting to know my friends even more. listening and loving it. So thank you 🙏🏻 😊.

Sometimes it’s a simple case of forgetting to think on the bright side . It’s so easy to get caught up with what I haven’t got in my life.

The time is here once again to rejoice who I am …

Like what my younger brother said to me the other day.

“Be who you are , the rest will follow “.
That is so beautiful and to the point. Say this to yourself now , oh it’s great isn’t  it ? 🥰.  Thanks Rog! . 

Recently my bout came coming out of the holiday season of Christmas and New Year joyful times or meant to be. The lead up to Christmas was divine and my Autumn was absolutely incredible. I reckon it was my first ever or since I was a kid and I didn’t have a care in the world . This Autumn I dropped everything and said I’m going love and rejoice in this special change in the seasons. I would say I’m into the spiritual side of the universe, my soul connected to nature and the natural force’s.

Somehow it’s got lost recently and I’ve become a mess again. With all the human distractions, all the bad behaviour of others. The wanting , the taking, the no care for others from others who are not respectful to other’s, nor take responsibility for themselves. 🐾Sadly some are not of the same ilk as me and you my dear friends. Some who have touched my life and continue to brush shoulders with me .  Hey ho ,,  there’s not much I can do about that but shine my light where I can. 🐾Then sadly my Dad became Ill and still is. I wish a speedy recovery. 

I’m ( we) are still waiting for the (CWO ) Court Welfare Officer to get in touch to hear our side of the GrandChild Alienation case we have going in the Isle of Man 🇮🇲. The person involved is meant to present her findings to the court on 19th of January, next Wednesday! . We’ve not even spoke to her yet. I gathered my thoughts together yesterday morning and decided to email my solicitor Claire. To my beautiful surprise, Claire telephoned me within 15 minutes. Arh it was great to hear her soft feminine voice on the other side of the line. I guess she’s not soft in court. Our solicitor does everything properly and makes sure our case is presented for the courts at our end in an absolute manner. Currently we are waiting for the CWO to gather her findings for the best interest of the child. Gathering everything from all quarters, our past experiences with the private social worker who chaperoned us on our visits and time with our Grandson. All other information from Our Grandson’s other family on his Mum’s side. 

The connection we had with our Grandson was absolutely incredible. Very much like with Alfie , his step brother now. Oh he touches my heart. Spending time with Alfie in the day are by far the best parts of the day for me. Maybe I’m just a softy at heart. Maybe it’s my inner child wanting to play with him, who knows? . But it touches me and I’m very grateful for the opportunity to spend the most blessed time with him, just like our days with Alex. Though , them days where more of a necessity as the little guy needed someone stable in his little life. What a treasure he was. It went sour as soon as the other Grandparent’s came on the scene, after being absent .
Looking back we probably were a little over the top with our love for him, but we had to stand in . I’m not saying anything else that might go against me , but these are my experiences and they stand strong to this day. Yes we loved him with all our hearts but we where allowed too up until a point, then one day , on Alex’s 3rd Birthday it was taken away from us. Utterly cruel , but there you go nothing lasts forever or so I was said by an ex girlfriend many moons ago . Yes , that was a learning experience too. I can still feel the emotions there too, f@cking horrible.  But essential. BECAUSE I LOVE MOST OF ME NOW. I ought to say all of me,🐾 but there’s fractures of me that are raw and untreatable or so it feels. Arh maybe one day I’ll feel COMPLETE. 🐾 .  Maybe it’s a game that a higher power is playing with me in order to make me appreciate all the goodness in my life.🥰
I’m here now a good , honourable person and I’m proud of that, even though I’ve not experienced all I have to give yet. I guess that’s the exciting bit. 🥰😘👊.

 

So I give you “ Tell it to the Skies “ . What a book that is by Erica James. Very descriptive, Arh just up my street. So I’ll be looking to get it on a audiobook . Oh and yes Sarah Lancashire narrates it too. Oh bless her and her voice. I can’t wait !

 

In the meantime I hope you rejoice in your life , in whatever that may be.. 

From my heart to yours,

Sparkly Adrian x

 

💥All words written in my own experiences 💥

Edited etc 🐾 15/16th / Jan 30th Jan