Keep Rising ?

Finding oneself , being true to oneself , feeling the heart felt aspirations and fear inside all makes for an interesting life. Ugh yes! Truly being there for yourself. Do you truly know what that means? . For me , it’s truly being there and wholeheartedly taking responsibility but hey I always seem to do that .. i mean for the love of me.

 

BEING BRAVE IS MY BIGGEST CHALLENGE. Some may say I am brave, for challenging myself in new pursuits with enthusiasm for a greater good. My biggest problem I’m going to call it , is being brave enough in open communication or conversation with others.

Being brave enough opening my heart to others, being authentic as my counsellor calls it. Gee my homework is to work on being authentic in all my relationships,,, flip, flip , flip. Speak what’s on my mind rather than bottle it up. OMG ?. This means saying what I feel. Letting go of the good and the bad. Just release it.. oh gee… So this means not bothering what some people may think of me too.  I have some self believing to do, it only comes from working through things and self praising. 

 

Being BRAVE, BEING ASSERTIVE, BEING AT ONE WITH MYSELF, ABSOLUTELY LOVING MYSELF, BE MYSELF ( what that is )being open and AUTHENTIC ?! .

I’m not going to go on about this  , I know what I have to do , dig deep embrace the love of me and the courage that lays deep down , hoping it with surface more often than it does. I’m going have to stand firm and go against the whatever it is that is holding me back. I’m emotionally wretched as I write this , with anxiety running through my chest  . As my counsellor Said to me on Friday just gone, “it’s like you are a constant battle with yourself”.

Another thing I’ve to cut out of my life is a little word that goes like this “ BUT” . But ! , has been used a lot in my vocabulary and it gives away so much. It stops my inner voice, sense of love from flowing easily. I’ve either to mentally stop myself from saying this word or maybe with a little help from post it notes around the place , so I can initially kickstart something better.

A better way of living without putting myself in the realms disapproval within myself. It’s all about the love for me at the moment. This feels alien to me and maybe I’ve masked my way through life all this time.

As my close friends say ‘ you got this’ . As let a big blow out of my mouth, water in my eyes, aches in my chest.. This is just how it is for me right now. It’s not going to be easy , but then nobody said life would be easy. The hard work begins again to try and re tap into MY POWER WITHIN. ?????????.

One massive thing I’ve on my side is my passion for the wonders in the natural world and of course my MASSIVE collection of just great friends and family . ?.

 

 

 

Keep Rising ,

 

 

Positively Adrian ????.

 

Edited etc?.